For a long time I have struggled with episodes of anxiety. At times, I’ve gotten a feeling of crushing fear that occurs even in situations that most people consider to be safe.
The first episodes I remember were from my early childhood, when I was so frightened that I used to cry all the way home, or wait at the train station till I got picked up by the police, as I did not want to go home.
As I grew up I learnt to hide this anxiety, by doing the things I was good at. During school I discovered what I excelled at, as I knew that I could achieve something in a field, which would later serve me in my adult life.
When it was time for me to go to work, I left home immediately and ventured on my own. Suddenly the anxiety of going home was no more. I had my own space. The relief was immense.
But I had many other anxieties to overcome. Some have taken years to overcome. As well as new anxieties in my life, as I ventured into the adult world.
Yet at the end of the day there were recurring patterns, whatever the anxiety -
An event or occurrence which deeply effected me at the time and unbalanced me.
Inability to resolve the consequences or outcome.
Feeling a sense of loss or bewilderment.
Constantly reflecting back on what happened , the whys and wherefores
Sense of inadequacy
Wondering if the same thing would happen again
Similar situations invoking the same feeling of anxiety, even if the circumstances situation or people were different.
Emotionally freezing up in a catatonic state.
Now what is really going here?
Focusing on the past
Reflecting on a prior situation to manage a current one
Emotional endorphins reacting to the need for a sense of anxiety.
Comfort in the predictable emotional negative response.
Determining a negative outcome based on a past fear.
Looking at the situation subjectively based on fears
To list a few:
So was the reality actually reflecting my anxiety? No, but I was creating the same pattern of circumstances.
The outcomes may have different, but my satisfaction with them was not. Why? Because I had already sent out the negative energy related to the anxious thoughts.
Had I reflected on the occurrence, situation with a new, fresh and objective outlook the actual experience and outcome would have been so much more positive.
The outcome for sure would likely have been way more than I had anticipated.
Yet the overall deep subconscious conditioning from anxiety can be so strong, that we simply revert back to same negative response.
What I didn’t know at the time was that my anxiety would come with me, wherever I went.
I needed a brand new way of dealing with it, so I decided to break it once and for all by developing a healthier mindset.
This is a continual process throughout our lives as we slowly empty out the negative, replenishing with positivity. Don't rest on your laurels.
Whether we like it not, we have to break this destructive cycle.
One has to recognise it in ourselves.
One has to admit to the continual repetitive response we make without remorse.
Forgive ourselves as we are imperfect beings learning and experiencing to improve our consciousness
Let go of the fear
Understand only ourselves can change this pattern not others or circumstances
Look at everything objectively and not subjectively
Act from the heart, where oneness and purity of intent flows .
Let the emotion of love come through in all aspects
Do not ask the why, when, where - it has its own path in existence on all dimensions
Do not determine the outcome
Send out the feeling of the acquired desire and let it go
Be at peace with whatever the energy sent out transmutes
The key is:-
"Feel the blissful emotion of happiness as the desired outcome is already present"
Now we are acting on a completely different level. Practise makes perfect.
The negative feelings become redundant. One feels lighter as there is no more reason to feel anxious. One is in the moment enjoying the moment, being the moment.
Here are some of the realisations and choices that helped me release my anxiety, along with how I put them into practise:
1. Remember that good enough is the new perfect.
I have always tried to be the best in everything I’ve done, and this has led to a huge amount of anger and stress. I decided that it was okay to let go from time to time. I didn’t have to get nervous for every exam; I didn’t have to win all the time. It was okay just to play the game.
Doing this, I also managed to develop better friendships and relationships. I discovered that my “I want to win everything” attitude was placing everyone on an enemy position.
When you focus less on being the best, you release the pressure you’ve put on yourself.
2. Stop multitasking.
Although this may not seem to have anything to do with anxiety, it’s related. I used to do a lot of things at the same time: work, check my phone, answer an email, make small talk with somebody, and so on.
These interruptions made me lose track of where I was standing, and those times when you feel lost are a great place for anxiety to settle in.
Focus on one thing at a time, and you’ll naturally feel less anxious.
3. Stop avoiding things that you don’t like.
I was always afraid of heights. I’d tell myself, “This time it’s okay not to go near the edge. Next time I'll feel more confident.”
But that never happened. The next time I had to face the situation, my body knew that the previous time, I had let fear win. So instead of dealing with the feelings in one situation, I had to deal with feelings from two.
Now, instead of avoiding things, I always say to myself when I am scared: “This is the best time to face my fear! Bring it on!”
So I challenged myself over the years. I climbed mountains; I meditated at the edge of the Grand Canyon; I took gliding lessons; I went paragliding; I built a 30 metre shaft lift; I climbed steep steps on cliff tops.
Don’t hide from the unavoidable situations that make you anxious; little by little, condition yourself to work through your feelings.
4. Find a passion that calms you.
I noticed that in periods of great stress I seemed to have nothing to enjoy. Friends were telling me to take a day off or do something I like, but I was having a hard time finding things I liked.
During these days I’d sit in by bed, turning from one side to another, and then return to work more tired than I was when I left.
One day I remembered that, as a kid, I had a dream of dancing every morning before everybody woke up.
After a month of daily dancing or practising aikido katas to radio music or my favourite records. I can say that I feel awesome. Whenever I feel anxious I picture myself dancing or practising aikido, take a few deep breaths, and I calm myself down instantly.
5. Focus on the things that you can control.
In the past, I often complained about not feeling well. I was convinced that I was ill, even though I was healthy. The symptoms that I encountered were dizziness, light headedness, and tensions all over my body.
As frightening as these were at the time, I realised that it was my obsession with control that was causing them. I was always asking myself: “Am I feeling well?“
In worrying about the symptom, it became real.
I’ve learnt that I can my body, I can only control my thoughts. M y thoughts directly influence how I feel physically. Now and then when I feel dizzy, I take a moment to ask myself, “Am I causing this by worrying?”
6. See anxiety as an opportunity.
In retrospect, I see that anxiety was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It was when I felt anxious that I knew that I had to make changes—with my approach to my work, my passions, and my mindset.
Anxiety goes away only when we learn what it’s teaching us. That is when we can move on.
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Michael J Robey
Psychic Medium | Psychic Investigator