How To Develop Harmonious Relationships
How To Develop Harmonious Relationships
It’s not unusual for the blossoming of a new relationship to begin to wilt as time goes by. As the novelty and excitement turn to contentment and familiarity, the relationship begins to shift and become more predictable. It's perfectly natural for the excitement to wane and wonder how to get the spark back.
But whether you have been married or in a relationship for many years or simply just dating, it’s the responsibility of both partners to keep the fire stoked beneath the glowing burning embers.
Most happy couples will tell you that maintaining that glow is grounded in taking care of each other and taking care of the relationship. It’s important to maintain physical and emotional connection.
Here are a few strategies to consider.
Keep in touch
Take time to hug, kiss and hold each other. Studies show that couples who share in physical intimacy are happier in their relationships. Touch doesn’t have to end in sex, although may be desirable. The important thing is that physical contact keeps you intimately connected. The right touch can melt away anger and fear, which speak volumes about how much you care for each other.
Enjoy each others company at the end of the day
Remember when you first met, how exciting it was to see each other? Greeting each other with that same kind of interest at the end of a busy day will set the tone for more pleasant and enjoyable evenings.
How your partner sees you behaving – body language, tone of voice, facial expressions – tells him or her how to respond to you. Step outside of yourself for a moment and be aware of how your partner is seeing you.
Place troubles and worries on the back burner for a brief time. Take a few moments to reconnect with each other before you start delving into issues about family, the bills or whatever other challenges you’re having. The issues will still be there when you are ready to address them. Keep it chilled, light and loving.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you need
A good relationship is based on how well partners are able to negotiate and navigate their way through challenges and disagreements. It’s unrealistic to think that you will never be disappointed or hurt. If your partner doesn’t know what’s troubling you, they may not instinctively not know or understand how to help you feel better.
Sometimes couples are fearful of saying what’s on their mind and in their hearts because they’re afraid of disappointment and rejection.
The challenge is to share your thoughts in a way that demonstrates compassion and empathy, rather than criticism and judgement. When you are both able to create a safe, respectful environment in which to talk, you open space for intimacy and trustworthiness.
Be aware of sending out mixed messages
Couples who know each other well sometimes unconsciously send mixed messages to each other, especially when emotions are intense.
If you don’t ask for (or even know) what it is that you need, how will your partner know? Saying “I’m angry, go away“ may really mean, “I’m hurt and afraid, please hold me and love me.” But sometimes that’s exactly what it means. So, help your partner help you.
If you are angry or sad, invite them in to be part of the solution, rather than pushing them away by criticising or judging them. Be positive, talk about the times when you felt connected, intimate and safe.
Pay each other compliments
We all love compliments. So next time you have the urge to “nag” your partner for something that really bugs you, try something different.
Focus on what you really appreciate about your partner. This way you will turn a negative into a positive. If something is really annoying you about an aspect of your partner's behaviour, point out the times when he /she is not showing that behaviour. How much you appreciate it and how much closer you feel by a more positive response.
Paying compliments and showing appreciation for each other is extremely effective in creating connection. Compliments, appreciation and gratitude benefits both partners. The giver is encouraged to focus on what’s going well in the relationship – that makes for more positive vibes and the receiver is invited to do more of what they’re being complimented about. It’s a win – win situation!
Focus on giving rather than receiving
Letting go of the notion “What’s in it for me?” and adopting the idea of “What can I do for you?” cultivates generosity, concern, connection and intimacy. By enabling your partner to be happier, provides a better chance of having them return the favour. If you focus on giving rather than receiving, the rewards will come naturally and effortlessly.
Create time for relaxation and stillness
Life is stressful and the day-to-day challenges of money, career, children, and family can be extremely demanding. It is really important to have time each day to “just be present,” to let go of the demands of life and to let go of anger, stress, and frustration for just a little while.
Sit together as a couple in the stillness. Take a walk; watch a sunset, cuddle on the couch. Take time each day to physically and emotionally reconnect. Spending time touching; talking, or just being alone together can make a world of difference in your relationship.
A relationship, like anything else, requires patience, encouragement, compassion and self-awareness. If you’re finding it difficult to accept your partner’s flaws and imperfections, it may be time to get some help so that you can gain some new perspective. In the meantime, try a few of these strategies. You may find your relationship glowing again sooner than you think!
Michael J Robey
Psychic Medium | Psychic Investigator