The Secrets To Happiness

The Secrets To Happiness

Happiness may be distinguished between an emotional contentment relating to the past, present and future. The first is being happy about memories of your past life to date. The second is being happy in your current life. It is happiness that you experience immediately and in the moment. The third is being happy about where you see yourself moving forward in your life. e.g. future plans, family, friends, career, holidays and events. You may consider happiness is mainly about getting what you want and need, including from other people or even just by using money. In contrast, meaningfulness is linked to doing things that express and reflect the self, as well as doing positive things for others. Happiness is generally associated with being a taker more than a giver, while meaningfulness is associated with being a giver more than a taker. Having the capacity to love and be loved is an immense strength most clearly associated with subjective happiness and well-being. You can train your mind to be unhappy and you can train it to be happy. Its a matter of choice and perception. Training your mind to look for errors and problems can lead you towards a pervasive pessimism that carries over into your personal life. Training your mind to look for positive actions and solutions will on the other hand will lead you to constructive optimism that also carries over into your personal life. Is there a way to get your mind out of these negative loops? Yes! Here are some ideas of how to gain "The Secrets To Happiness". Spend Time With People You Like - Friends And Family If you do one thing today to be happier, spend time with friends and family. Not spending more time with people we love is something we regret the most. The happiest people are social with strong relationships. Not spending more time with people we love is something we often regret the most. Don't Stay In A Job You Dislike. Take a lesson from people who have already seen most of what life has to offer: do not waste time in a job you hate. Plan And Schedule Your Happiness It’s ironic that we treasure happiness so much yet often treat it as simply random luck. Passively waiting for happiness is a losing proposition. Happiness needs regular appointments, so schedule the things that make you happy. It is pointless and self destructive, if you keep saying how you want to spend your time and not actually act upon it by allocating time to your desired activity. There is often a big gap between where people say they want to spend their time and how they actually spend their time. A large percentage of people may know what projects and people energise them, but do not in fact spend much time on those projects and with those people. Once you identify the activities and people with whom you want to spend more time, calendaring your time thoughtfully becomes critical. When you put something on a calendar, you’re more likely to actually do that activity – partly because you’re less likely to have to make an active decision whether you should do it – because it’s already on your calendar. Balance How Much You Give Of Your Time People who engage in selfless giving end up feeling overloaded and stressed, as well as experiencing conflict between work and family. This is even true in marriages: studies of married couples, found that partners who failed to maintain an equilibrium between their own needs and their partner’s needs became more depressed within a short period of time. What to do? Do all your giving one day a week? How much should you give? Set yourself a guide. A useful guide maybe 5 hours per week. Whatever feels right for you. Balance the energy you have to give to others without draining yourself. Practice The Three Blessings You must teach your brain to seek out the good things in life. List three things you are thankful for each day, this can make a big difference. Maybe try this "Three Blessings" exercise. Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well. You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be great in importance but they can be of value. Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?” This technique helps you to feel happier because you remember the good and forget the bad. Temper Social Comparison People probably encourage you to not compare yourself to others. It’s not necessarily harmful, but only compare yourself to those worse off than you: Generally if people compare themselves to those who are worse off, they’re going to feel better. When they compare themselves to people who are better off, it can make them feel worse. Tell Yourself The Right Stories When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that story and this process is as, if not more, effective than medication. Depression frequently stems from an “incoherent story,” an “inadequate narrative account of oneself,” or “a life story gone awry”.

Psychotherapy helps unhappy people set their life stories straight; it literally gives them a story they can live with. and it works. “Retrospective judgment” means reevaluating events and putting a positive spin on them. Naturally happy people do it automatically, but it’s something you can teach yourself. Be Optimistic About Your Future And when it comes to the future, be optimistic. Optimism can make you happier, gives you renewed energy and drive to follow your desires through. If on the other hand you are pessimistic about the future, you are far more likely to have less drive and energy, so it becomes somewhat a self prophesying failure. Let Go Of The Outcome

Yes it is important to have a goal, but let go of the final outcome. As how can you really determine an outcome? It requires action. It is the journey of your experience which is truly satisfying, and enables your self growth and sense of happiness. Be Grateful Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is. It will make you happier; improve your relationships; make you a better person; and make life better for everyone around you. Want make yourself and someone else extremely happy? Try a gratitude visit. Write someone a letter or an email thanking them and telling them how much what they have done for you means to you. Or better still visit them and read it in person. It’s a proven source of happiness. Do More, Not Less The happiest people are those that are very busy but don’t feel rushed. Do things you are good at and enjoy. “Signature strengths” are the things you are uniquely talented at and using them brings you joy. Do what you are good at as often as you can. By doing things you are uniquely good at and using them increases happy thoughts. Think about the best possible version of yourself and move towards that. You will experience more flow at work and in life. Be Compassionate Being compassionate makes us happier. Share the best events of your day with loved ones and ask them to do the same. Compliment them! We love compliments more than money or sex. You might feel you are introvert. Yet a little bit of extroversion here would do you good. Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness, so with the right amount of exposure to others happiness, will enhance your well-being as well. Consider Money Is Good, But Many Other Things Are Better Once you have sufficient money for your essential needs money has minimal effects on happiness. Not that money won’t increase happiness, but if you want to be happier, your time and energy are better spent elsewhere. It will not increase your moment to moment mood. Give More Rather Than Receiving Giving makes us happier than receiving. In fact, it can create a feedback loop of happiness in your life. Volunteering makes us happier and can therefore be the most selfless way to be selfish. Helping others reach their goals brings joy. Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week. Enjoy The Good Times Take time to really enjoy the good things. Take a positive mental time travel of happy memories or looking forward to something. Savour the moment. Be present, not letting your mind wander, but absorbed in the moment. Savouring is one of the secrets of the happiest people. Focusing on the limited time you have in this life is a good way to remind yourself to savour what is important. Strive Towards Ambitious Goals You don’t usually do what brings you joy, you do what is easy. Set ambitious goals and strive. Thinking about what happens to you in terms of your self-esteem may crush you - instead look at life as growing and learning. Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy. You are happier when you are busy and probably have more fun at work than at home. Thinking and working can beat sad feelings. A wandering mind is not a happy mind. Mastering skills maybe stressful in the short term, yet boosts your happiness in the long term. Be Optimistic Optimism is key. Yes, pessimism softens the blow of bad news but it isn’t worth it. Does this make you out of touch with reality? Maybe, but being a little deluded is good for the soul. People with positive illusions about their relationship are more satisfied, score higher on love and trust and have fewer problems. Overconfidence increases productivity and improves teamwork. Self-deception has been associated with stress reduction, a positive self-bias, and increased pain tolerance, all of which could enhance motivation and performance during competitive tasks. Be In Love Love means being slightly deluded. Happy people believe their partner is a little more awesome than they really are. Someone you think is great who also thinks you’re great. It’s one of the primary things you should look for in a partner. Eat, Drink, Rest And Sleep Well If you don't eat, drink rest and sleep well you get cranky. Your mind and body has limitations. Eating and drinking replenishes and energises your body. Take a nap, it can purge negative emotions and increase happy thoughts. Sleep is vital because your mood in the morning affects your mood all day. Create Frequency Over Intensity Lots of little good things is the path to happiness. You want frequent boosts not rare big emotional stuff. For the most part, don’t bother to try and reduce the bad so much as you increase the good. Avoid thinking about big events that might make you thrilled. It’s the little things of everyday life that make lasting improvements to your happiness. You’re not going to win the lottery and it wouldn’t have the impact you think it would anyway. Avoid Regrets In Life Often people express regrets before they die: 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Avoid these kinds of regrets in your life, you can't change the past, but you can learn from the experience. Summing Up Count your blessings; Do what you enjoy and do it well; Be Grateful; Be Optimistic: See the fun side of life: and tell yourself a positive story about the challenges in your life. There may be emotional highs and lows in your day to day life, but overall look for a sense of level headed contentment over the long run. These are the keys to "The Secrets Of Happiness".

Michael J Robey

Psychic Medium | Psychic Investigator

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