The Pros And Cons Of Online Dating
The Pros And Cons Of Online Dating Online Dating is basically websites or mobile apps which match profiles against a database to help introduce singles to potential life partners has been around for a long time. The oldest version of this was probably the fabled “Village Matchmaker” This dating phenomenon however, really took off with the arrival of the Internet and mobile apps. Online Dating Sites Online dating sites maintain databases which keep track of a large pool of people who sign up for the service. Most of these sites run on a subscription model which means that for a fee, you get to browse profiles and if you see a someone you think you would like to connect with, allow various forms of messaging to put you in touch with each other. Members of these dating sites provide information about themselves. Depending on the site you choose, information required can go from a simple, basic profile, to a request of your entire life in exhaustive detail. For example, they may ask for dietary habits, how many times a week you exercise and many more details. Needless to say, if you are looking for a site which will increase your chances of finding a better match, then those which ask for more information in your profile and also run algorithms to increase the likelihood of a good match are going to be more helpful. Popularity of Online Dating According to The Knot Survey taken in 2017.; 1) 19% of brides said they met their spouses online. 2) Meeting via dating sites has now surpassed more traditionally popular venues, including through friends (17%), during college (15%), and at work (12%). 3) Annual Revenue in the online dating industry has surpassed $3 Billion. 4) Dating services, half of which are dating apps or websites, employed around 9,500 people worldwide. 5) Collectively dating services have seen an annual growth rate of +5.3% in the past five years.
6) Estimates are 40 million Americans and 300 million worldwide regularly use online dating sites. Are You Currently Dating Online? Are you currently dating, or getting ready to start dating online? Have you dated unsuccessfully in the past, and want this time to be different? Experiences with online dating tend to be mixed. Some people have excellent experiences with online dating that end in satisfying relationships. Others have stories filled with confusion and frustration. Thus, much like any other way to date, meeting someone online has both benefits and drawbacks. The Pros And Cons Of Online Dating Plenty of people are still meeting each other the old-fashioned way (in person), but online options can make the dating pool feel a little broader and may be beneficial for those who are on the introverted side. Just like anything else, though, online dating has its pros and cons. PROS OF ONLINE DATING 1) Choices Online dating provides individuals with access to many more potential partners than they could often find in their daily lives. This is especially true for individuals interested in partners of a particular type, orientation, lifestyle, or in isolated areas. This is very helpful if you work or live in an environment where there aren’t that many single people to meet, or if you don’t have a large social circle. Your reasons for using online dating may range from simply wanting conversational fun, online, curiosity, wanting to meet people for casual meet ups or sex, simple friendship or a long term relationship. It is in your control as to what you might desire. 2) Matching Many online dating sites offer various types of personality testing and matching. Such matching can help guide individuals toward dating partners who may be more compatible.for them. Being able to list and specify what you are looking for in a person will give you the chance to meet someone similar to yourself. Unlike meeting someone by chance and hitting it off, people on dating sites are open about what they are looking for and what’s important to them. This tends to remove a lot of the uncertainty which you might have in the initial stages of the relationship. Important questions can be brought up very early in the online relationship and answered openly. For example, “Are you interested in marriage? Are children important to you? Is my religion incompatible with yours?” Online dating opens the dating world the same way social media allows us to connect globally. Your world is no longer limited to the people you went to college with or live near. Using online dating allows you to meet and connect with people you probably never would have met without the Internet. If you’re interested in a particular type, orientation, and lifestyle or live in a rather isolated area, online dating gives you access to more potential partners. If your beliefs are important to you and you happen to be part of a community where your culture or spiritual beliefs are in the minority, then online dating can introduce you to people who share the same belief systems. 3) Profiling t’s undeniable, if you have a fun name like Holly or Jack, and you have a gorgeous picture on your page, you will get a lot more requests from people to meet up and get to know you. As a result, many sites have a strong focus on physical attractiveness and member behaviours tend to demonstrate this slant as well. 4) Communication Online dating offers a number of ways to get to know a potential date before meeting in person. Such computer-mediated communication allows for safe and convenient interaction, without much risk or time commitment. For the busy professional, or the safety-conscious, such communication is an excellent way to "test" potential partners. If you are shy, then online dating sites are a godsend! Being able to express who you are in the form of pictures, video messages and profiles means that you have time to think through what you want to say about yourself and to share it with other people without the pressure of having to cover it all in a brief encounter Online dating doesn’t have as much stigma as it used to. With millions of people worldwide using dating sites and apps, it’s becoming more and more common for people to meet and date online. Not to mention the fact that we spend most of our time connecting through our cell phones on social apps like Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, Twitter and Snapchat anyway. 5) Mystery Online dating provides a sense of mystery. Not being able to see what the other person is doing 24/7 can be intriguing for some daters. Also, some daters prefer to focus on a potential mate’s personality, without the stress of sexual interactions. Moreover, these individuals place more value on personality traits than physical traits like appearance. Most of the fun comes from revealing, piece by piece, aspects of your personality, and having your potential mate do the same. And, if you have never seen your online suitor (in person), imagining what he or she looks like may be quite a turn on! Some people crave mystery and intrigue, and online dating provides that. 6) Romance We are living in a digital age and with so many social sites and dating apps, there are many ways to meet and build relationships online. Plus, there are a lot of success stories from married or committed couples that met online. Just like dating in the real world, online dating can be tough and there will always be pros and cons to any dating scenario. But, if you’ve had a few bad setups or are getting tired of waiting around to meet the right person and the right time, online dating can be a convenient, easy way to increase your options and help you get back out there. 7) Safety It’s not about answering “is online dating the right thing to do?” It’s more about determining if meeting someone online is right for you. Any stigma that may have existed about meeting someone online is long gone. Nowadays you’re more likely to run into couples who say “we met online” vs. “we met at a bar”. Online dating provides an initial safety net as you can get to know more about a person online without having to make the bold next step of meeting up. You are not giving out your personal contact details unless you choose to. So any unwanted approaches will only come through the dating site and you have the power to block any further communication or access to your avatar profile. CONS OF ONLINE DATING 1) Choices The choices of partners can become confusing and overwhelming. Without a clear plan, online daters can get stuck endlessly "shopping" for the perfect partner, rather than actually starting a satisfying relationship. While it’s great to have so many fish in the sea–it can be a bit exhausting having to weed out the good from the bad. Plus, some people can find it difficult to stick to one site or app, which only makes the whole experience stressful. If you really want to find the right match, try sticking to just one online dating site. Whatever your reasons for using online dating. whether is just fun conversation online, one off meet ups for friendship or casual sex, or a long term relationship Be aware that the person you are in contact with online will also fall into any of these categories in other word their own agenda, will also fall into any of these categories, despite what you might desire. The decisions of online daters can be confounding and overpowering. Without an unmistakable arrangement, online daters can get stuck perpetually "shopping" for the ideal accomplice, as opposed to really beginning a fantastic relationship. 2) Matching Matching is a difficult process and testing may not be accurate for everyone. In addition, people may present differently in person or change over time. So, matching may overlook potentially good partners in the process. You may be blindsided by your preferences. Whilst being able to specify exactly how often your future spouse works out, what sort of food they eat and what type of job they do might sound great, in reality, you may be so focused on what you think you want that you might miss out on what you ought to want. 3) Profiling Apart from the difficulty that sites have in checking the accuracy of the information submitted, profiles cannot tell you everything about a person. There are non-verbal behavioural cues which you can only know about when you interact directly with a person. Qualities such as chemistry, empathy and compassion are almost impossible to assess from a profile. It is difficult to gauge intangible factors such as values, true attraction and compatibility from online interactions. Unfortunately, many users do lie on their online dating profiles. Men users most commonly lie about age, height and income, whereas female users lie about weight, physical build and age. 4) Communication Communication through computers is lacking some of the information provided in face-to-face interaction. As a result, it is harder to evaluate a potential match online. Also, some of the cues and features that build attraction (like touching) cannot be accomplished through a computer. So, such computer-mediated communication may have an artificial and unemotional quality. Just like dating in the real world, online dating can be tough and there will always be pros and cons to any dating scenario. But, if you’ve had a few bad setups or are getting tired of waiting around to meet the right person and the right time, online dating can be a convenient, easy way to increase your options and help you get back out there. If you’ve never done anything like this before it can feel weird emailing strangers. It may take a little time to get used to. It’s a numbers game. Not all of your initial emails will get a response. From there most potential contacts who do reply will drop off as there is such much interest and distraction elsewhere on site and only a small percentage will meet up for a date. If you’re emailing an attractive man or woman in their 20’s they are going to have so many emails coming in that it’s easy to get lost in the mix (unless you know how to stand out), 5) Mystery Although mystery is an excitement and aphrodisiac, it can also lead to false preconceptions about the person you are communicating with. Most people don't reveal every part of their lives, true family or relationship connections, work, leisure and sexual desires or activities. People can more easily mask themselves to be somewhat different to what they are and adept to role playing rather than being real. Role playing is a major attraction for players online who do not necessarily want to meet up but indulge in their fantasies. 5) Romance Knowing someone online for a couple weeks may seem like a life time, and you might feel that you are ready for a romantic relationship. But in reality, you probably would never invite someone to go on a date with you that might turn intimate if you had known them through friends for that same amount of time. There is also the possibility that your potential date may feel that since you have both declared that you are single and interested, that moving immediately to the “next stage” in getting to know each other is a given. While online dating sites allow you to initiate a relationship with someone new, it doesn’t mean you should let it be the foundation for your relationship. Online dating can be a con when the relationship only exists online and doesn’t include any physical or face-to-face interaction.Psychologists warn “computer-mediated communication may have an artificial and unemotional quality since it can be harder to evaluate a potential match online where you cannot pick up on cues and features that build attraction, like touching.” There are less chances of physical intimacy. Why? Well, because you don’t see each other on a regular basis, especially at the beginning of the relationship. It can be hard to be in an online relationship, and not be able to physically touch the person you are “falling” for, and in some cases, this lack of physical intimacy can cause problems in the relationship. Regardless, do not rush the relationship – there is not a specific time when you should meet and/or become intimate with one another. Once again, go with your gut, and start off slow (i.e. hugs, kisses, and cuddles), if need be. If your potential mate does not accept or agree with waiting, he or she is probably not the best fit for you, and you should move on with someone who is. 6) Safety It’s a dangerous world out there and the Internet is rife with tricksters, scammers and all sorts of confidence games. So be very careful. You never know if you that profile that you are looking at is real. When the interest seems over zealous from the beginning, or information provided is scant and looks false, the strong likelihood it is a scammer. Stop any further contact and delete! Genuine people take time to get know each other online, there is a natural flow of curiosity yet guarded. Bravado from the beginning spells danger! Before you go online, learn to protect yourself. Never reveal your personal, private information, don’t send money in any circumstances, even if you think it’s for an important cause and always take precautions before meeting up in person. You need to take steps to protect yourself from potential scams and dangers. Why? Well, some people may use that information to swindle money out of you, or in severe cases - harm you. You should be fine with online dating as long as you stay cautious and aware. Do not allow your heart to overshadow your mind, and your dating experience will be all that you ever dreamt of. The worst thing you can experience is “catfishing.” If your gut tells you that something “just isn’t right,” go with that feeling – your gut is trying to tell you something. Do not dismiss those feelings because you really want to find a partner or get married. Listen to the little voice in your head that is telling you to “run.”
Be aware of the terms and conditions of the online dating sites from the beginning. Some are unscrupulous making it difficult to cancel membership subscriptions or selling personal information to other third parties. Stick to the well established online dating sites as a preference, which are monitored and have stood the test of time. Some online dating sites are great to find interesting people, but there are more downsides than good sides, some sites are designed to make money at expense of the illusions of the people, you can deal with tons of fake profiles and you have to rely that the information of the people is real, and because there are tons of people on this sites the same woman or man you like will have also a lot more admirers trying to get the same from them, which will make you harder to stand out from the crowd and in consequence this people are almost inaccessible in dating sites as they are in the real life.
Online dating these days opens up so many possibilities worldwide for you to find other like minded persons for you, whether this is for casual friendship, meet ups, sex or long term friendship, romance and ultimately marriage.
However it is very important to be realistic and aware that people very often are less than truthful about themselves and their desires initially; they can be easily distracted by a wealth of other profiles; intentions of where the online relationship is ultimately leading may not be compatible; and you can be easy prey for unscrupulous and experienced scammers.
So enjoy the moment, ask the right telling questions and take note of your gut feeling. Any suspicious communication be well aware of, and most importantly, never never get caught up in giving money online to strangers, regardless how long and trustful they may seem. Remember there is no recourse once you have sent the money. So don;t do it !!
Michael J Robey
Psychic Medium | Psychic Investigator