What A Real Man Wants In A Relationship
What A Real Man Wants In A Relationship
A real man may want you, need you or love you, but what is he really looking for in a woman? He won’t say out loud, or write it down, or put it in on his profile, or even talk about it among his peers.
Whether you are just getting into a relationship or have been in one for decades, it is useful to know what men want in a relationship. It can be easy to assume they want exactly what you want, but that does not always prove to be accurate. Understanding how a man’s mind works can be beneficial to the entire relationship.
Most men are not in the habit of saying what they want or looking for a long term relationship, but if they do then most want and need you to offer them these things:-
Kindness The world can be cruel and punishing. A man's work maybe mentally or physically tough and co-workers can be too competitive. Men deal with judgement and comparisons by those closest to them throughout their daily lives. So a little less judgement, a little more forgiveness and understanding from the woman he loves goes a long way. Approval Men often have tender egos and need frequent reassurance about themselves yet don't like to admit to it. Take those opportunities when you feel your man gets it right and let him know that you approve. Whether its his career path, home making, DIY, sorting out finances, or how they interact with you as a partner, sexual prowess and attractiveness. Often a man doesn’t think you approve of what he does, behave or live. Praise Let your man know what you like about him. While it may be true that men generally need relatively less frequent verbal praise than their female counterparts, this isn’t the kind of gesture that requires keeping score. Why not just have more of a good thing? Tell your man exactly what you find attractive about him. Let him know what physical features of his are your favourites. Tell him how attractive you find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something, or when he takes you on a date. Your praise won’t make him cocky; it will help him feel loved. The more you praise his positives, the more you are likely see him. We all have a an ego of differing degrees and men are no different. Even the most confident seeming man could use some reassurance now and then. Whether it is about themselves, their careers, how good they are in bed, or how they are as partners, men love to be praised. While men typically do not need as much praise as women, being praised by their significant others can positively impact their confidence and self-esteem. Congratulate your man for a good job done at work or at home and make him feel great about the things that he is good at. Whether he is really strong or witty, let him know that he is special. If he is the main breadwinner in the relationship, let him know that you appreciate his hard work and what he does for your household. And if he is not, acknowledge him for the other contributions that he has made to the life that the two of you share together as a couple. A man loves to be appreciated and recognised for the things he does whether they are large or small, and it is always best when the praise comes from his partner. It lets him know that he is doing something right. Congratulate him when you approve of his decisions, choices, or the way he handled something. Tell him you’re proud of him. Even if he’s has done it for years and you’ve never expressed your gratitude, and it’s his job and you do it way more than he does, your man wants to feel appreciated. Even though you may feel he seems like a gigantic disappointment right now, using these praises will re-energise him like getting a new partner and for sure you will get praise and appreciation back yourself for what you do as well. Receive Graciously Men are driven to please their women, if he feels he can’t succeed, he’s going to start to feel useless and bad about himself. He needs someone to please. If he buys you a present or flowers and you say that it’s not the kind of present you would use or wear, or if, when he does the gardening and you just complain about the mess he has left or if you argue with him when he praises your cooking, you’re not capable of being pleased and receiving graciously. In other words, he can’t make you happy and he considers that his duty.. . Friendship A man needs your friendship first and always. He wants to enjoy spending time with you, share your interests, and feel comfortable around you. Cultivate friendship first and you will win his heart forever. Keep in mind that your developing relationship in the long term is still in essence a friendship. Support A man needs someone to provide balance, support, and encouragement. Tell him you have your support when he is going through daily life struggles. He may not want to talk about it much, but be there for him when he needs you.
A man needs you most when he is facing challenges in his own life. A man may not talk about what he is experiencing , as he may be conditioned to not express his feelings openly. Yet you being there, understanding and being supportive will let him know that he is not alone. He needs someone with a quiet and balanced inner strength.
Be aware men are generally naturally problem-solvers and like to fix things. When dealing with problems, men don’t need solutions unless asked for.
Men want women who respect them and treat them as their equals. They want women who are willing to compromise and who let go of grudges quickly. If a man has screwed up, don’t hold it against him forever. Let go of the grudge and give him another chance.
Men also want women to let go and enjoy the moment. Men's left brain minds function on much simpler terms processing in logical ways, one to two maximum of three things at a time in general, which enables them to let go and focus better on the moment but may lack awareness of what is going around them and wider consequences.
Whilst women right brain minds see all creatively interconnected , processing maybe up to ten things at a time, which enables them to sense the wider picture and consequences, but limits their ability to let go and focus, becoming overwhelmed and not be in the moment. Each need to learn to compromise and learn from each other to create a balance between the two.
Loyalty Like you, a man wants to feel like he is the only one in your life. Help your man feel more certain of you by showing that you're committed to him. Be there for him when he needs you most. Support him when no one else does. Both of you need to value trust in each other Be a dependable committed partner if that is what both you desire.. Patience
No man or woman is perfect, and your man may not be exactly the man you want just yet. So be patient and he will appreciate your patience in helping him grow into the best version of himself he can be. No man or woman for that matter is going to become their highest selves overnight. Your encouragement and patience will give your man what he needs to transform.
Men feel respect as love. If he feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you.
If a man’s partner doesn’t respect his path or mission in life, then he will find it very difficult to feel other than an anxious need to distance himself from her.
Women tend to have a different view of respect than men do. Women tend to think they are being respectful when they are considerate. Men think it’s respectful in a more practical way such as::- cleaning up so you don’t leave a mess for him; or to reheat his dinner when he comes home late; or to pick up his dry cleaning when you are out.
Unless you know what respect looks like to a man, you can easily suffocate your partner without even realising it. This is where the trouble starts, if you contradict what he just said, criticise him, roll your eyes at him, interrupt him, try to teach him how to do something or point out his mistake, he’s likely to get defensive. That’s because in his view you were just disrespectful and you may not even realise it. To give him the respect he wants, demonstrate that you have faith in his capabilities, appreciate his thinking, and let him know in actions, as well as words, that you think he’s smart. This isn’t about blame, or fault-finding, or anybody doing anything wrong. This is about loving people in the best way that they could possibly be loved and opening up a dialogue about emotional needs in relationships.
It can be easy and sometimes even fun to wrangle with and tease the opposite gender, but we have to be mindful when our respective others are concerned. You can make a joke or two but consider your man’s feelings. Don't belittle your partner. You probably would not like to be belittled either. Sometimes this might happen accidentally, but be careful of being overly critical with him. It is not good if you do not make him feel good about himself. For a good number of men, good behaviour, consideration, respect and love go all in one. These men need respect in their love lives and the respect that you show him will also show your love for him as well. If he asks you out and is sincere, he wants you to be direct and sincere.with him as well. He expects your answer as a "yes" or a "no", not "maybe", "not sure" or worst of all no response.
Don't play mind games when he genuinely offers, otherwise you will lose the opportunity of a potentially good match, fun and his respect. After all, if you don't respect him, then do you truly love him? If you don't respect him, then he will feel unloved, anxious and frustrated among other things. See him as your equal. That means not treating him like a child. Do not treat him like a little boy or compare him to the other guys out there who are stronger, smarter, better looking, wealthier, and so on. Remember that people deserve respect, and that goes double for those who are in a relationship. Be aware of how you are with the opposite gender. While you should be able to have other friends, it is typically considered disrespectful to flirt with other people whether or not your man is also there to see it.
Just consider how you would want to be treated and apply that to how you treat the man in your life. Having a mutual, deep sense of respect for each other will be really healthy for your relationship.
Happiness Happiness is contagious. Being happy shows in your aura and smile, which is very attractive. Tell and show your partner you’re happy. Your man will want to be around you when you’re happy. A good man will be there during the tough times, but he also want to know that there are plenty of happy times and that his partner is responsible for some of them. The quickest solution is to seriously focus on making yourself happy. Do things that creat happiness within you, so you can’t stop smiling. Consider the possibility that you would stop cleaning up the mess, reheating his dinner and picking up his dry cleaning if that helps you free up time for frivolous fun. When you get happy, he feels proud and happy, too. Your man wants to know that he can make your life better, that he can contribute to your happiness. He wants to be able to lighten your load, make you smile, make you laugh, protect you and give you the things you want. He wants to be able to compliment you and know that you received it. That you are beautiful, whether you are all dolled up or just in your home cossies, or working. If you receive his extravagant gift that you could have lived without, his offers to take you out to dinner, his compliments even though they may make you uncomfortable or not in the mood he’ll be getting so much of what he wants from you, he will be ecstatic. Fun See life as being more important to be taken seriously." People make mistakes, stumble, and even disappoint each other. While we face difficult, distressing news in the world, we want to be with someone who can still find joy in the little things. Your laughter, humour, and perspective on what matters help us enjoy life more. Whether it is having a sense of adventure or a similar sense of humour, who doesn’t want to be able to have fun with their significant other? Men especially like being able to laugh and while they can laugh and joke around with their friends, they probably want to be able to laugh with you too. That is not to say that you have to like everything that your guy finds funny with his friends. Two people in a relationship can have their own inside jokes and set of things that they can laugh about. That is what makes it even more special. After all, who likes it when their partner takes themselves way too seriously? Being able to laugh at yourself or a funny situation means that you can let your hair down. And that means that you are not afraid to be comfortable around your significant other. Attraction
Many people fall to easily into relationships that are just convenient even though there may not be a strong enough attraction there.
At the beginning of your romance you can inadvertently lessen his attraction to you, if you are way too needy or demanding. If you push him away too much or play mind games with him, then he could quickly end up losing his attraction for you. Desperation is a huge attraction killer as well. While you should be willing to do things for him, you should also maintain your self respect.
Just be yourself and let things happen naturally. Allow your fun and relaxed side to shine through. Men love confidence and when you can let things roll off your back. Attraction is not all about looks. It is also about the demure and attitude you have. Needless to say, a positive outlook on life is attractive while a constant negative attitude on things can be a huge turnoff to men. If you are positive, then he will be likely to feel positive as well and that can only help your relationship. Don't try to force or rush things in your relationship. If you try too hard to impress him or if you rush the relationship way too fast, you just might end up turning him off and scaring him away. Physical Touch A man needs frequent non-sexual touch as well as a sense of sexual access. He needs your touch, your caress, your kisses. Your intimacy is important to him When he is touched, he feels loved. When you’re generous with your affection, you make him feel on top of the world.
If you come up behind him and stroke his back or his neck and hair in a loving way, while he sits absorbed in a task, he could feel just as loved as if they had just had penetrative sex (even more so, depending on his mood).
This touch is interpreted as physical love, registering as “I love you, and I want you to feel happy all the time. Know that I’m always here for you and I care for you deeply.” While women typically connect better through the act of communication, men are known to typically connect better through the act of physical intimacy. Being intimate is an important part of many relationships. When you get further into a relationship, it can be easy to feel like the flame has gone out. Do not let yourself fall into the trap of complacency. The last thing that you want to happen is to give up on the intimate bond in your relationship. This does not even have to fully apply to intimacy in bed. It also includes little gestures like holding hands and hugging each other. He might even reach out to hold your hand just to know that you are still there for him. To engage with him physically is to also engage with him romantically. Sexual Connection Men and women both connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through communication and men connect better through sex. This doesn't necessarily mean that men need to have sex with their intimate partners every day in order to feel connected. Men, more often than not, connect through indicators of sexual access just as much as they do through sex. Often, a man will initiate sex just to make sure that you are still sexually available to him. So, if he reaches across the bed for you, even showing the willingness to embrace him, to kiss him deeply, and to romantically engage him could be enough to make him feel loved. This lack of awareness around women needing to connect through words and men needing to connect through sex can sometimes turn into an unfortunate and rapid downward spiral. She doesn’t feel like opening sexually until she feels connected to him, but he finds it difficult to communicate with her because they haven’t been physical with each other in days.
You may role play within your sexual connection, be it gentle / rough, dominant / submissive, sapiosexual, tantric or whatever you are both into, but the rules of engagement and limits need to be mutually agreed.
Talk with your partner and ask what specifically helps them feel the most loved so you can avoid these unintentional standoffs. Emotional Intimacy From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. Perceived “weakness” includes things like complaining, divulging fears or concerns, and expressing self-doubt or worry. A man’s partner is his safe space to fall. He can expose the cracks in his armour and allow his partner to help him heal. Just as women need to slowly open up sexually within a relationship, men open up over time emotionally. He needs to make sure that when he first cries in front of you, you won’t be repelled or handle it poorly. If you push him away or are unable to be nurturing when he needs it the most, he will no longer trust you with his emotions. He will remove himself somewhat from the relationship. Both partners lose if the man goes on silently suffering and believing that he is flawed in his imperfection, and he will hold you at arm’s length emotionally. Most men do not like to show their feelings all the time, but they do have the few people they can open up to and you need to be that person as his safe space. A sign of a strong relationship is where he can open up to you emotionally. Do not worry if this does not happen right away. It can sometimes even take years for this type of emotional intimacy to develop. He needs to know that you will not be disgusted if he breaks down and cries in front of you. If you do make him feel like he cannot be vulnerable with you, then his trust for you will fade away. A man wants a woman who can see the cracks in his armour and will still love him anyway. Emotional intimacy also applies to the feeling you and your partner have for each other. Do not be afraid to tell him that you care about him, especially as the relationship progresses later on. If a man wants to be in a relationship, it means that he does not just want the physical intimacy. He wants to be emotionally close to you as well. And that means that he wants your heart. Romance Some people don’t consider that men want a little romance too. Some are more romantic than others, so figure out where your man fits in. While he might not expect chocolates and flowers from you, he might cherish the occasional sweet text from you or the kiss on the lips for no particular reason. A large part of great romance is the little surprises that aren’t expected but are delivered anyway. Things like a quick kiss on the cheek or an impromptu cuddle session. Or you can even try something steamier like an unexpected passionate kiss or a nibble of the neck. Making romantic gestures will also show that you are passionate, spontaneous, and generous in a relationship. Seduction
All men want sex, after all they are instinctively predators by nature. However they also have differing degrees of how they seek and initiate their sexual desires. Just because they see a beautiful woman and instantaneously scan them. once they have walked passed, the sexual thought has generally passed. So don't allow yourself to get hung up about it forever and fear your relationship may be in jeopardy.
However do remind him you are together, be respectful and bring his focus back onto you in a pleasant enticing manner.
Respect is the best aphrodisiac for men. So if it’s gone missing completely, start with that one. But even then, he doesn’t want to feel pressured to perform at a particular time.
He’d rather be teased, or get some visual stimulation that might lead to feeling excited. You are visually stimulating, and your voice and your scent and your touch are stimulating too. When you stimulate him it suggests that you’re willing, that you’re receptive, attractive and exhilarating. It can also be scarier for you than just initiating things more directly with words or action. It’s riskier for you to put on your skimpy outfit, because he could just walk on by. You could feel rejected. But the upside is that you’re issuing your invitation in the most feminine possible way, with no pressure and lots of excitement. You’re creating emotional safety by being open but not demanding. That’s what he really wants. Another benefit of this approach is that you will never feel more desirable as when your man responds to your implied suggestion with enthusiasm and vigour. When your man is getting what he wants in the relationship, he shows up like the man you fell in love with. The one you thought was smart, who couldn’t do enough to make you happy, who loves to see you smile, the one you appreciated, and who turned you on Security Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like you are in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to you. Yet security goes deeper than just the fact that you won’t leave him. He feels secure in knowing that you approve of him and where he is in his career. He feels secure and loved when you touch him non-sexually throughout the day. He feels secure when he is allowed to have his lads nights away from you and you don’t feel the need to call or text him every half hour to check in. And he feels secure with you if you take steps to love him in the way that he most needs. Feeling certain in a relationship is always incredibly important to both parties that are involved. What makes a person feel secure about their relationship? Having a partner who is reliable and honest can certainly help. Men are no different than women when it comes to wanting security in a relationship. If a man is taking you on dates or has a home with you, he would be devastated if you just decided to end the relationship without any warning. That is why it is important for you to be reliable and communicative with him. Remember to communicate with him through the good times and the bad times as well. That way, your relationship won’t just go up in smoke.
Commitment is an important part of a secure relationship. It is important that you both agree on the terms of your relationship and that you both work to maintain a strong relationship. If one person stops making the effort, then the relationship will begin to crumble.
Emotional Maturity If you are in a relationship, then you should be old enough to act like an adult whatever age you are. It is no big surprise that men will want emotional maturity in a relationship. This means not acting like a child when things get too hard. Think about it. Why would a normal man want a woman who acts like a child when he could do better with a woman who acts like a mature grown up? To be emotionally mature in your relationship, remember to always communicate with your partner and to be respectful of their feelings. Do not act immediately on your emotions. If you get upset or frustrated, do not immediately act out. The opposite of someone with emotional maturity is someone who plays games. For instance, if you are mad at your boyfriend and instead of talking to him about it, you ignore him for several days while he wonders what is wrong. A man will want someone who can deal with the situation in a mature way. Instead of reacting in a way that you might regret, take a second first to step back, and try to figure out how to solve the problem. Remember that an emotionally mature relationship is a healthy one to have. Communication Good communication definitely ties into emotional maturity. To keep a man happy in a relationship, you have to be able to communicate, even when you might just want to give him the silent treatment and leave him there to guess what went wrong. Fewer things are frustrating than when you have no idea why your significant other is upset. Do both of yourselves a favour and just talk to him. If you need to cool off, let him know that you will be back to talk about it. People in healthy relationships are not afraid to communicate with each other in an open and honest way. If you have an issue that you are dealing with, especially in the relationship, let him know before it is too late. Remember that men are not mind readers. In fact, no one is a mind reader. That is why it is great to communicate your thoughts and feelings. If you do not communicate what is on your mind, then nothing will change the problems that you are dealing with in your relationship. Communication also involves listening. So remember to listen to him if he has something to say. While men are said to be less likely to want to talk about their feelings, you should also let him know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk. Men have feelings too, and as his partner you should be there to support him when he does need it. Remember to keep him in the loop. This includes involving him in the plans that you make together. Do not just make plans for the two of you all the time without letting him know. If you are running late for a date, let him know. Do not just show up an hour late or worse, fail to show up at all. Most men will not have any patience for that at all. Partnership If a man wants to be in a relationship, then it means that he wants a partner. That does not just mean someone to go out to dinner and get intimate with, it also means someone that he can build a life with and make important decision with. When two people are partners, they listen to each other and value each other’s opinions, especially when it comes to the big things in life. Partners support each other and do not tear each other down. In a partnership, the two people involved have to remember that one person should not give while the other person does all of the taking. This can apply to anything from making the effort to spend time together to sharing the housework if you live together. A partnership means that you do it together. Space There is a masculine and feminine divide between independence and intimacy Men are primarily drawn towards independence wanting more time apart and women toward intimacy wanting more time spent together. There is no perfect balance to be found here. This will always be a balancing act of closeness and separateness. Suffocating a man (either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour) is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship. They need time for their hobbies, friends, and work on projects to feel fulfilled. This their down time to de-stress and relax without pressure. Traditionally, when women needed to solve a problem, they would go further into the tribe – connecting with close friends and family and discussing their issues. Conversely, when men have a problem to solve, they would leave the tribe to be alone with their thoughts. So let him roam. Let him breathe. Leave him to his own devices. A man will be that much happier for you to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the strength of your bond enough to let him have his space.to recharge emotionally. The biggest gift you can give your man is some time alone and time to pursue the interests he has that you might not share. It keeps him balanced and gives him a chance to miss you. If he has his own hobbies and interests, he should be able to do them without feeling guilty that he is not at your side. While it is good for a couple to have hobbies and interests together, sometimes a man just wants to do his own thing once in a while, no matter how much he cares about you. When it comes to space, both people in the relationship will need to talk about what that consists of in their relationship. Not every couple is going to be the same and they will all have their different needs. Some couples might need alone time at the end of each day, while other couples might choose to spend time apart once a week or once a month. Make sure that you work together to figure out what is best for you as a couple. The idea of giving him space can also apply to the early stages of the relationship as well. Give him the time and space that he needs. Obviously, you should not let him string you along with no end goal in sight, but do not do things like bring up partnership. While it is important to talk about a long term commitment in the relationship, it is the type of conversation that can be brought up as the relationship progresses when you are both ready to talk about it. Do not pressure him too hard early on. No matter how strong and how intense and loving a relationship can be, everyone needs some space once in a while. Whether you are in the beginning of a whirlwind romance or have been going strong for 10 years, you still need time to yourself. Conclusion While you should not drastically change yourself to fit into what a man would want from a relationship, you also need to consider that a relationship is a two-way street. Essentially men want a relationship where they can feel good about themselves and where they feel like they are with someone who is mature. Being able to communicate and compromise are just some aspects of a mature relationship. Men appreciate respect and having a partner who works together with them. If you can do these things, then you can have a happy, fulfilled relationship with your man.
A truly awakened person realises there is no difference between a man or woman's soul or internal strength just yin and yang - when balanced is of greater strength as a whole than the individual parts. See your relationship not in fear but as a challenge for both of you to attain its ultimate mutual love and respect.
The yin and yang is how everything creates and expresses itself in harmony and into infinity. The power is within the connecting line between the two creating the vortex of unconditional love.
Michael J Robey
Psychic Medium | Psychic Investigator