How to Overcome Feelings Of Worthlessness
How to Overcome Feelings Of Worthlessness Do you have times when you feel lousy about yourself? Times when you hate yourself or just feel that you’re just worthless? We all have these moments, and if you do, know that you’re not alone. More importantly,here are some tips to deal with such debilitating moments of negative self-worth, so that you can gain strength to continue in your journey and not feel like you need to struggle by yourself. How To Deal With Moments Of Negative Self Worth
These moments of negative self worth may not be common, but there are times when they surface. During such moments, you may feel worthless, doing a lousy job, or just hate yourself. Such moments can happen when you feel like you are not doing a good job, or feel like you can be doing more, or bad incidences happen and you feel beaten up over them. There are times when we feel down and out. that it’s normal. It’s okay. There’s no need to feel ashamed of feeling this way. Let's share some simple tips on how to deal with moments of negative self-worth and to feel better about yourself. Forgive Yourself You may have times when you fault yourself for not doing things the best way, or not handling situations in a way that is in line with your ideal definition. These don’t have to be some serious incidents, but you may just feel about very small little things you do that you are sure nobody remembers or thinks about. Just think about them later on and think about how you could have handled something in a better way or dealt with one small thing in a better manner, that could have perhaps improved that overall situation. It’s about forgiving yourself for any shortfall versa your expectations. Recognising that whatever you did or didn’t do, you’ve already done the best that you could do in that situation, within that context. And it’s about learning from the experience and working to be a better you Perhaps for you that could be something you’re faulting yourself for. And because of this, you feel these moments of negative self-worth. If that’s the case, is it time to start the following:
Forgiving Yourself For Any Shortfall.
Recognising that you have really done the best you could within the circumstance of the situation
Focusing on learning from this experience and moving forward to be a better you.
Forgiving yourself can be a tricky process especially if you’re dealing with some deeply embedded experiences.
Brain Dumping Exercise
This is where you to use your brain dumping exercise, This exercise is known as brain dumping since you dump out the contents of your mind through writing. Here’s what to do: 1) Pick a medium. You can use the pen/paper or word processor. I prefer the word processor as I type faster than I write. Plus you save paper too!
2)Type whatever comes to mind. When I say whatever, I mean whatever! Basically, dump out whatever is on your mind. There’s no need to over think this. It’s about pouring out what’s in your head.
3) Just keep doing this for the next 15 minutes, or however long it takes for your thoughts to clear up. 10 minutes is usually enough but can take an hour when you feel really weighed down. You can do this exercise and just chew over the question of, “What am I blaming myself for?” This is a great process to get insights into your inner psyche and to understand the thoughts, the emotions that you may not be privy to before. Everyone Is Struggling Everyone out there is really struggling and fighting their own battles. Sometimes we may think that everybody out there has everything together and that we are the only lousy person not doing things well, or we have so many things not accomplished and we’re lagging behind in this race called life. But be assured everyone is struggling in their journey. There’s nothing to feel bad about, say, goals that are not accomplished yet, or things that we’re not doing well in. Because it’s by having these things that we continue to have areas for improvement, that we continue to learn and grow, and to find joy in this life’s journey. Don't Compare Yourself To Others You may tend to feel bad when you compare yourself to other people. This comparison may not be overtly done. It can be an implicit comparison where you could be looking at other people in their domain who are doing extremely well, and then you beat yourself up for not doing as well or not being as accomplished in you goals. That, of course, leads to a negative self-worth. But there’s really no need to do that. Because you’re not in a race with other people. You are on your own journey to be the best possible you, bar none. So there’s no benchmark for comparison, as much as it is you compared with who you were yesterday, or who you were a month ago or a year ago, and whether you have improved since then. Also, whoever you’re comparing with, what’s to say that these people are not struggling with their own problems? There is a very high chance that they are also struggling with their own issues. Of course, nobody’s to judge. Everybody has their own problems. But it doesn’t mean that just because someone seems to have it all together, or someone seems to have every single accolade or accomplishment, or material achievement, that they would be happy with their life. That’s not the case at all. Ultimately what’s most important is that you are happy in your own journey and you’re constantly working to be the best possible you vs. just comparing with people. Stop Subjecting Yourself To Impossible Standards Are you a perfectionist? Do you often seek to achieve a perfect standard in your work? Do you feel a need to perfect every single thing you do, even at the expense of your health and well-being? A perfectionist is a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection. In psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by“a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.] To a perfectionist, anything that’s less than perfect is unacceptable. Some perfectionists can be very neurotic perfectionists. Sometimes they are very unhappy and a lot of it is self-imposed unhappiness. Because they keep comparing themselves with extremely high standards, and subsequently, beat themselves up and feel so unhappy over them. While I think that having high standards is great because that helps push you to grow, if your high standards are making you feel unhappy and miserable, then it is time to review the situation. Review Your Standards
If your standards, as opposed to supporting you in your growth and fulfillment in life, are the cause of making you so unhappy and miserable, is it time to review what’s happening? Maybe you have standards that are just inherently not possible for any human being to achieve. Doing a particular task without any errors, when it is perfectly normal to have errors. You can always address those areas or revise them and that’s perfectly fine. Secondly, let’s say your standards are sound and fair. Then it could be reviewing your attachment with your expectations. Because you should never ever feel bad even if you don’t achieve your expectations. Even if you don’t achieve your expectations, it’s about reviewing what went wrong? Why wasn’t this achieved? What could you do to improve and increase your chances of achieving that target next time? So now you are not subjecting yourself to impossible, inhumane standards. And not attaching yourself to your expectations. That is extremely important! Perfectionists sometimes attach themselves to their expectations, associating their worth with whether they are achieving their targets or not — which is not true. Your worth is what it is. You are perfect. You are complete. You are who you are. By no means should your worth be linked to whether you’re achieving your targets or not. It is very easy to forget that and to think that when we don’t achieve a target, that we are worthless, that we’re not being good enough. But that’s not the case When you don’t achieve something, that is an event, that is what’s happening on the outside. But your worth, what’s on the inside, that never changes, and that’s always complete as itself. Focus On What Makes You Happy Sometimes you may get into the cycle of where you just feel negative. And then after that, you can be doing something that makes you feel worse. And this thing could be heading out to buy junk food. It could be drinking. It could be smoking It could be hanging out with toxic people. Or it could be drowning in your sadness alone at home, and then watching a drama series or surrounding yourself with negative things. That's not good. It may be tricky to dive into the roots causing you to feel bad or negative These can go really deep, they can go way back, and it may be tough to deal with these in a one-off scenario. Instead, just do something that makes you happy. It can be a very simple thing. Not go into some deep psychoanalysis and uncover the biggest reasons causing you to feel unhappy or feel worthless. No, just do something simple. It can be letting yourself relax. It can be playing your favourite game, Just to play it and make yourself feel better. It could be just messaging a friend, to ask how is that friend doing. It could be reading your favorite websites or watching your favorite film. So just choose very simple things. not something that is huge and requires a lot of intellectual analysis because you may feel that it’s very intimidating. Just do something happy. Identify Trends Making You Feel Negative Sometimes there may be recurring trends in what’s making you feel negative? So if there are, how can you reduce or eliminate them? Facing Negative People You may be very sensitive to people and their reactions. We all have natural barriers towards people. Yet you must learn to open up all conduits to people. That is when people say something, process the information thoroughly and fully., just soak into everything a person has to offer. Sometime you may have feelings of negative self-worth triggered by people who are being negative. This could be people who are just being rude or insensitive, or where there’s some incompatibility in values or consciousness. This may be not one particular person, but it could be different people. It could be random people or acquaintances, or even customer service staff. While you can easily raise your guard and ignore such situations, instead communicate with people in an unguarded way. Be your authentic self, to connect with people on a deep level, You may prefer to stay away. Create a distance between people whom you have found incompatible in terms of attitude or values or just the overall consciousness level. Maybe someone who is angry or negative, that wouldn’t be a strong fit in terms of compatibility. Stay away from these places and instead patronise places where you already know the staff and know that they’re fantastic, they’re great. Go there, feel good, have a great time with them, and support their business. Not Achieving High Standards Reviewing what was causing you not to feel good, realising negative self-esteem, comes from not matching your personal targets with your "to do list".
Maybe you find that you have certain expectations. You want to complete certain things but you haven’t. and when that happens, you beat yourself up over that. There are ways for you to handle this: One way is if you are having unnatural expectations in terms of the work to be completed, you need to address this by adjustment not necessarily by lowering your standards. Adjusting to a target which was more in line with what you could offer, and still have adequate time for personal rest and relationships. The second thing is to review your processes. Revising and addressing the way that you are doing things. This will relieve a lot of the tension and pressure that you are putting on yourself. Are there any trends when you feel negative, down, or low in self-worth? Note down these times when it happens. When did you feel negative? What happened to make you feel that way? Make it a habit to jot this down every time you feel this way. Over time, you will have a compilation of such notes. This is when you can start to see whether there has been any trend in why you’re feeling this way? Do you feel this way after interacting with a particular person? Or do you tend to feel this way on a particular day of the week where there’s an event or some situation that you’re in? Try to understand: Is there a trend or pattern that is going on? Because when that happens, you can accurately pinpoint what’s causing you to feel that way, and subsequently address that. It could even be when you look at others websites or blogs.. After a while, you feel bad and negative.
When you really think about it, it’s because you are seeing other people doing well, but you don’t feel like you’re doing as well. So then, it could be triggered by when you see others doing better than you. When you identify these factors, then you can deal with them. Know That You Are Complete A lot of us probably feel that we are not good enough, that we are inadequate. There are just so many things that are over glamourised, over-edited. A lot of flaunting of perfect images. There are businesses trying to sell you something, and in the process of selling you something, they’re painting that perfect life, that perfect image. There are celebrities or personalities trying to express or “show off” that glamorous side of their life. And sometimes they may be doing that on behalf of their sponsors. Everyone’s closer to each other more than ever online. So one click away, you can be seeing this person who is so successful,, who seems to be having it all. And it’s very easy to feel inadequate because of that. No matter what you’re seeing out there, no matter what people may have you believe, you are already complete. You are already full as a person. You are beautiful, you are amazing, and you are just perfect as yourself. You don’t even need a reason as to why you are perfect or complete. It’s because you just are. Stay Away From Commercialised Media Ideals All of us, when we were born into this world, we were already born complete as ourselves. It’s unfortunate that over the years, as we were growing up, we were exposed to media. Not to say that the media is evil or that our problems are all caused by the media. The media is nothing but a tool, and it’s really the message that marketers or businesses are sending through the media that makes us feel a different way. You are already perfect and complete. You have always been since the day you were born. So if for whatever reason, there is someone or something making you feel inadequate or not good enough, then maybe it’s time to create some distance or to take a step back. Evaluate who you follow online: Do they make you feel positive or negative? This inevitably drives feelings of inadequacy, of not being whole, of negative anxiety, that you feel like you must quickly do something to correct yourself or to address a certain “flaw” or “issue” that you have, as opposed to it being something that you’re doing out of a genuine desire for betterment — independent of fear, anxiety, or negativity. Or just feeling like you need to be something in order to be considered whole, perfect, or beautiful. In these cases, it is good to evaluate: Is this connection compatible with you? Perhaps it’s not. Perhaps this material that this person is churning out makes you more fear-based, makes you more anxious about yourself, or feel that you are inadequate or incomplete. And that is not what you want. In these cases, maybe it’s good to assess: Does it really serve you? If not, just unsubscribe and channel your attention onto other resources that are more conducive for your growth. Remove Yourself From Negative Relationships With certain relationships or friendships you find that out of all the times you hang out with these people, you feel more negative than positive. When that happens, that probably suggests that this relationship may not be compatible anymore. So it may be time to evaluate if this connection is serving you as well as your friend. Say it is a family member. who may sometimes make you feel less than adequate about yourself. What helps is creating some distance. So sometimes if there’s a very strong conflict or unhappiness or frequent arguments, Just by creating some distance — so instead of communicating so frequently — reducing the level of communication, that can help. The cliche sometimes is true, that " absence makes the heart grow fonder". Sometimes if there are very heated emotions, creating some distance for a short period of time, does help each other to get some perspective.
Assert Yourself Fundamentally what you react to will often perpetuate that situation. If there is a particular behavior you don’t agree with or you don’t like, sometimes simply ignoring or not responding to it, can send the message across. In that, you are not engaging with this because you do not believe in this. That’s especially if you tried to argue against that or make your point, but none of these have worked. Then perhaps just ignoring and not giving your energy to these situations, can help. And then choosing to respond to the things that are more positive and conducive to your connection and relationship. can over time really help move the conversations to a more positive level. You Are Complete Remember that you are complete and you should never ever think otherwise. We have always been complete since we were born and it’s unfortunate that we kept receiving messages through time that suggested otherwise. That we need to look a certain way to be considered beautiful. We need to be at a certain weight to be considered adequate or handsome or attractive. That we need to have certain accomplishments to be acknowledged as worthy people. None of that is true. We aim for accomplishments because we want to be better versions of ourselves. Because we take pride in improving our own skills, in acquiring results for things that we believe in. But in no way should you aim for a certain target or result because you want to feel more worthy or more adequate. Targets and goals like these will eventually lead to a cyclical pattern. Where you continually do things like that just to feel worthy. There will never ever be a situation where you truly feel worthy about yourself until the day you acknowledge that you have always been worthy, you have always been complete, and you have always been beautiful and perfect. And you do not need any extrinsic achievement, praise, or acknowledgment to feel this way. Simply remind yourself of what you already have all along.
Michael J Robey
Psychic Medium | Psychic Investigator